Riding my bicycle a few years ago next to a friend, spicing up the ride by standing up and letting go of the handlebars – holding on is ever so dull – I was scolded “You are like a 12 year old child”. I beg to differ, I am more like a 10 year old me. And I want to be. I choose to be. This entire nomadic existence is in large parts about going back to chasing the dreams of a 10 year old me and experiencing the world in full force with no filters and no hands on the handlebars.
Attempted to be an “adult” and bend into norms and society and people’s expectations of me, and not my own instincts but what I thought others wanted, went along with what people wanted to change me into. Being an “adult” never quite suited me. Not sure being human quite suits me, but being a child I can relate to. My 6 year old nephew often quizzes me after I have told him a (true!) travel tale “really? that really happened? You know you must never lie to me!”. Feel the same way. Can never lie to him, never tell him anything that I do not mean, never make any promises I do not intend to keep, never use any filters.
I consider myself a responsible person and with an overload of self-discpline. But I never ever want to give up the inner child’s search for magic, dreams and awesome things, I want that to be me, my goal, my guiding instinct in life. My dreams, gut feeling, instincts, curiosity, where everything is new, everything is wonderful or terrible or awesome or sad, no filters to the world, amazement, wonder, laughter, seeing the silly fun in everything, sadness, getting deeply hurt, being foolish for the sake of being foolish, honesty, mean what you say, say what you mean, make things happen. Stay gold Ponyboy.
Exploring, shooting, meeting people, new places, making pictures, being creative, riding like the wind, letting go of the handlebars, eyes on the horizon and the universe. More adventures to come in a future that is both soon and awesome. Yeah I may be going some kind of crazy but it is a lot more fun that way. So much to see out there.
“This is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that’s a corner of a galaxy that’s a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and growing and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much—so much to see.
I’m not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever.”
– Doctor Who